haughty shadow that follows me as I walked
through the glorious maze of my garden
edged here and there with bright marigolds
a lone trumpet vine twined around a post
ever growing close by, the lone thorn apple
potted lemon tree erupting with blossoms
from the sun at the side of Aphrodite of Milos
framed in the shade the nigelia, blue puffs
syringa replete occupy their sunny corner
all surrounding me, drawing my forward
through the pathways of my lovely garden
gathering flowers, colors, smells to entice
a secret love, hopeless love, with fickleness
lamented from loss of protection, indifference
brought low by poverty, though abused not
my best days are long in the past twas folly
indiscretion, secrecy given into your passion
were I to see you now you would freeze me
undue my lost patience that your friendship
once agreeable and pleasing in my presence
brought unanticipated, deep, dark melancholy
though once content in health I have turned to
solitude marked by infrequent course of tears
on my writing table, nearest to me, fragrant
pink, white mimosas, as I peruse the missive
on delicate white paper with a myriad acacias
sketched in shades of yellow on the edges
brought to me this sad morning by my butler
in his starched formal attire, black on white
resting on a silver salver in white gloved hand
while I was sipping my morning chocolate
carried in by maid with a delicate tuberose
paler white against the white of the tray cover
sent by him, a thoughtless memento extended
the colour of my fate once brightened by chivalry
from a Knight-errant, though ever inconsistent
down to the garden, came to me with discretion
lauded me with words of his death at my neglect
with playful words of undying love strewn about
stirred the first emotions of love each morning
misty or dewy eyed perplexity from his ambition
voraciously pursued in my imagination, by him
a lupine form, words of concealed love unabated
my prudence vanished at this devious attachment
I had lost all in his presence that softened my wits
painful remembrance of those blushes, delusions
carried away in a wash at the birth of truth, of illusion
the frankness of dreams brought omens of Beware
unpleasant thoughts when others thought of me
tho my heart's mystery occupied my daily thoughts
even time was no consolation from the coming loss
unwelcome memories of wit that dazzled me, once
brought enduring pain tinged with motes of pleasure
fanciful reenactments of barely remembered sights
dimmed by the hovering darkness that surrounds me
the secrecy found out at last, began with kind jests
low bantering of my familiars, family, soon lacking
the warmth of sentiment, more irony, less affection
buoyed by the constant niggling prodding of hope
my expectations thrust into the light were useless
a soliloquy designed for a trusting lady to pass time
my tranquility of life was slowly, broken, in pieces
snowballed, in a rising crescendo of unease, weeping
bound by esteem not love, the momentary happiness
became a separation of those dangerous pleasures
thoughts of an absent heart's love, neglected, I wither
without solace in the whirlpool of my emotions, but one